Reasons I Need Coffee (Kaffee)

REASONS I NEED COFFEE:

• It tastes like hopes and dreams
• Caffeine perks me up
• Other people talk to me in the Morning
• Jail is a real thing & I don't think I would look good in an orange jumpsuit
• It's difficult to work if my eyes are closed
• It helps me mimic socially acceptable behavior
• Strangers stare if I forget to put pants on